Allow me to introduce myself. My online alias, Toninho, serves to feebly protect my identity. I am the creator of the wildly unsuccessful juvenile blog, Sycophantic Laughter, that in all honesty is severely lacking in many regards. I've created Delusionally Unfounded Musings as a follow up to Sycophantic Laughter, as a means to express the moronic adult I have become. Now I'll continue to write about myself as if that's a topic of interest to anyone.
In this historic first post I'll present many random facts or truths, for lack of better words, about myself, beginning with ability to speak only one language despite living in two different countries when I was merely a young turd. That one language, you might have guessed, is German. I'm a graduate of private college and now an employee of a publicly traded company. I'm a mediocre athlete who formerly participated in collegiate sport. I listen to music to complement my mood, but don't let music dictate my mood. I don't understand drinking in excess, but I do enjoy Ridley Scott's Prometheus. Twitter and YouTube are my favorite social media platforms, the rest I find rather silly. I'm a science fiction horror enthusiast who's not a fan of large groups, but is a fan of individuals. I read to gain knowledge and perspective and go to bed on the early side to start my day on the early side. I'm a baseball nut with a strong liking of Clayton Kershaw and slugging shortstops. And I would be surprised if anyone was reading this.
Over the past two years I've gone through some rather large (from my perspective) life changes. Two years ago I was working a job that I can honestly say I hated. My hatred of the position had been growing over the span of about two years with some brief periods of respite. I had begun the search for a new job and went on a few interviews that actually went, by my estimation, well. However, I had another variable pulling me away from these positions, too. That variable was a desire to move away from the Northeast region of the United States of America. Then one day at work around mid April 2015, I just snapped internally. I walked into my boss' office, closed the door, and told him I would be leaving the company. I ended up working there for another three weeks and even came back for a week to train my replacement. The other thing I did was stop pursuing the jobs I had interviews for because I'd made up my mind: to hell with this place, I'm going to California (my Dad was working there at the time, so it wasn't a completely random or bad idea).
Without going through all the details of story, I went to Los Angeles and looked for work for about three months, both independently and through an employment agency. I had a falling out with the employment agency because I didn't believe they had my best interest in mind, but the problem was that I couldn't find any work on my own either. I came back home after three months just in time for the winters in the northeast that I absolutely despise. Seriously, for me the cold is hell on earth. I lasted until February when I decided: to hell with this place, I'm going to California (again). And I went back to Los Angeles in February of 2016. Keeping this rather uneventful story short again, I couldn't find any decent work in this approximately six month stint either. I did enjoy the wonderful weather and got a whole bunch of running in! Ultimately I returned to the North East in September, just before the onset of winter again! Clearly I'm an expert in planning to miss the time of year which I hate most, that bastard known as winter.
Possibly through nepotism or possibly through my education and work experience, I now work for the same company as my Dad in the North East which I've written so lovingly about (especially the winters). Let me reiterate, I hate the cold. This brings us to the present. Ultimately I'm not where I want to be, but that's not to say I haven't gained a great deal from the experiences and events of the past two years. And as a twenty-seven year old, I think I've grown more during the past two years than any other time in my life and that I've put myself in a good position to succeed in the future. I believe this because now I have a clearer idea about what I want. Two years ago all I knew is I didn't like what my life had turned into. Five days of the week I was stuck at a job that caused me a great deal of discomfort, I was sick of the damn cold and the mountains of snow, I was seeing friends almost exclusively at bars (I'm not a big drinker), and I felt stuck in this cycle of shit.
After spending about nine months out of these past two years in the Los Angeles area, I know that is the type of place where I would one day like to reside. Really anywhere in Southern California would work. In my estimation, the biggest challenge of making a permanent move out to Southern California is leaving all my friends from childhood and college behind in the North East. And of course leaving family behind. Leaving the people behind is the only thing that has given me any hesitation. Here's what I've found, though. Now that I'm working in the same relative area that I spent my school days and college days, I barely see my friends anymore, for the best of reasons, though. Some of my friends have moved elsewhere for work and some have functional relationships. Basically life has happened. People grow up and have their own lives that eventually, and hopefully, are spent primarily with that one other special person you find somewhere along the way. We all grow up, and for me, I think part of growing up is moving away from where I grew up if only because I simply do not fit. While I'm currently in the North East, I do work for a construction company that has projects throughout the country.
While I was out in Los Angeles I got to spend a lot of time with myself. Some might think this a lonely proposition, but I'm incredibly good friends with myself and got to know myself that much better. What I found was an interest in learning through my interests. I started listening to podcasts (for the first time ever) about topics I found interesting, such as movies, comedy, and whatever Joe Rogan is talking about. I found that I actually do like reading, as long as the book or article is pertaining to something that I'm interested in (unlike most of the things you "read" in school). And I continued the commitment to stay in good physical shape, both through physical exercise and nutrition (something I had not paid much attention to up until this point). I figure if you read a little bit of anything everyday, you'll gain a decent amount of knowledge over the years.
Now that I'm employed full time I've developed a system of sorts to build on the self discoveries made during the time spent on the west coast. I get up earlier than any other time in my life get a gym workout in before work about four out of the five workdays and I've focused on eating healthier foods for all meals. I've only been doing this for the past three months and I can already see the results. I would even argue that I'm in better shape now than I was when I was running track in college. Going to the gym before work frees up post work time. On most days when I get home I prepare dinner while listening to a podcast, eat dinner while watching a video on YouTube, then split whatever time remains reading or playing video games. I also throw in a home kettle bell workout in on a few of those nights and some core work. The only aspect I would like to improve is social life, but you're only slightly more likely to see me out at night than you are to see Big Foot.
The main reason for beginning a new blog is simply because of my natural maturation. I'm not nearly the same person I was back when I started Sycophantic Laughter in college. Why do I blog? Well, regardless if anyone reads, these posts are good for me. These posts are a way to express my thoughts on different topics, evaluate my mental process, and just straight up think. I'm also at a brand new place in life and I look forward to creating a personal history of sorts. Some post might delve into personal experiences, like this one, while others might revolve around topics I find interesting such as movies, people, sports, science fiction(!), among many other topics.
In closing, the main point I wanted to get to in this post is how I believe every human life is a work in progress. I'm not where I want to ultimately be in life, but I have a system (not a goal) to put myself in a position to live my best life now and into the future.
